the precipice of a long journey

it is 2351 on 26FEB11, quite possibly the last time we'll see this hour as a two-person family. "we" may not be the correct phrasing, more like me and my ambien-laden, comatose mommy-to-be. it seems such a short time ago we were only tossing around the idea of trying to become parents, funny how many moments in thirty-seven weeks can pass by unaccounted for. I'm not getting nostalgic in the least, there is no place nor time I'd rather be than in than this peacefully silent birthing room broken only by the amplified steam-engine steady one-hundred-forty-two beats of my son or daughter's healthy heart every minute. perhaps I could trade in this megafirm pull out couch for a little down though? excuse me, nurse?

Pregnancy Sucks

i saw a book titled "pregnancy sucks" when i was in my first trimester and thought that this is probably a very honest account of what pregnancy is like, but man this woman must be bitter. i know realize that she was probably at the end of her third trimester and was the only woman out there willing to tell everyone how it really is. now i am coming across as the bitter one and i am not trying to complain, but what is a blog if not an outlet for one's feelings?

now i understand that "it's all worth it because in the end you have a beautiful child" and it is my first job as a mother to carry this child, but man 40 weeks is a long time. no one warns you about the achey, tingly hands, the days when walking is a difficult task, and man am i tired of looking at the walls in the bathroom! someone once said that by the end of pregnancy you would want to revamp the bathroom; i now understand that feeling :)

but it really makes sense. the sleepless nights, the uncomfortable feeling of having a something inside you, and the painful aches are all preparation for actually raising a child. they are what i assume to be only minor battles compared to what is ahead. i am sure that when we reach those dreadful teenage years (i am told they are horrible, can't imagine why) i will be longing for the days of my third trimester.

oh and the cravings. they come and go so quickly! poor zack has to be careful about mentioning food while we lay in bed at night because guaranteed i will want whatever it is and what man really wants to go and buy E.L. Fudge cookies at midnight? and if i manage to fall asleep while smelling the wonderful scents of creamed chipped beef, i will not want that food the next day. its all very strange.

bottom line is that all the complaining, the want for it all to be over, and the wonderment of why we did this, is all because we are ready for the next step: bringing home baby. we are ready for the new tests, trials, and challenges to come. so to all the women (and men) out there, pregnancy sucks and don't let heidi klum tell you otherwise, but i can't wait to experience what all the mothers before me have had the chance to experience. bring on motherhood.