why there aren't more sunflowers

on such a day as this, all hallows eve, the eerie silence on the bridge of a drydocked Diligence reminds me how the tingle of fear makes me feel alive. not like the talking picture paranormal activity or its equally amateur sequel, it is the minute sensations of fear in an ideal setting that expose your core and reveal the things that truly make your skin crawl. I don't need ridiculous amounts of gore to clench the plastic arms of my movie seat with white-knuckled fingers... the most frightening movie moments don't reside in the details, they're in the unknown. we didn't have to see entrails when Jack Torrance axed down Dick Hallorann in The Shining, and we all know that flick is downright haunting.

the world is scary enough, if the daily news is any indicator of what is really going on. the events that drive the plots in today's remotely realistic horror films are, scary enough, not a long shot from things that have happened or could happen in our own human race. as I stand here on watch munching on my favorite DAVIDS snack, I can't help but be convinced that the world and those who reside on her surface would be exponentially less scary if there were more sunflowers. maybe its the areas that I've spent most of time in during my two-four years of existence but I unfotunately cannot recall when I saw my last sunflower. it pains me that each of these delicious barbecue-flavored morsels that I so coldly eat and spit are simply aborted sunflowers, brutally harvested, then roasted, seasoned and packaged so that just one person can selfishly indulge in their bounty.

so does the blame trickle down as far as me? every seed I enjoy marks a tally for team evil, team anti-sunflowers. I boast that i am not an evil person, but do I play maybe a miniscule role in the evil that lies dormant in the bowels of this world only to reach the surface and extend its pale, cold fingers to our unsuspecting brothers and sisters day after day?

No. I blame DAVIDS.

from the port main

little creek virginia's naval amphibious base is actually quite peaceful at 0400, and although my rack is exponentially more desirable at this point, this side of pier 14 is preferred to that which consists of drills and a bottomless work list. growing up and having never really spent any extended periods of time anywhere but new jersey, this frequent visiting of new places for purposes other than vacation is beginning to settle in as reality. this is one of the reasons I enlisted, this is a way to see the world; yes, I'll see parts of earth that I would have never been able to see as a civilian, but my world drove to jersey on saturday.
this morning, I am at peace on the port main deck, I am proud of the path I've chosen and satisfied with where I'm at just zero six months in... it's just tough to be away.
the countdown to my advancement to E-4 begins today; it won't be fast, it won't be easy, but it will be totally worth the wait.

go phillies
future AMT3 Pashley out

Day 8: Back in New Jersey!

I'm back to New Jersey! zack and I thought it would be a good idea for me to come back home while he was away. it will definitely make the time go a little faster. it has been really awesome seeing people that i have missed so much. but to be honest, it hasn't felt right being here without zack. everything I do, it feels like something is missing. it is going to be great when we can both come together. don't get me wrong, this is amazing and I am truly enjoying myself, but I miss zack and things just aren't the same without him...

I will have pictures and exciting things to post soon.

get ready ya'll, I'm back!

day 1 (con't)

here are a few more pics!

in one of them, it looks like the ship is crashing into the pier. they were actually doing this cool turn around thing so they could head down river, but I thought the picture was pretty funny.

(there are more pictures on facebook)

day 1- ship out day

yesterday afternoon at 1:00 p.m., I watched Zack and the crew of the USCGC Diligence depart from Wilmington to the open waters of the Atlantic Ocean. they left for their first port call of their 2 month patrol. as Zack wrote in the previous entry, this is going to be a very difficult 2 months. it is these times that I am reminded of just how blessed my life is, to have such a wonderful husband willing to do what is necessary for our family (the new baby), and his country. it also makes me realize how much our military families sacrifice for our country and our freedom. i am so thankful to each and every man and woman who voluntarily serve our country. I am also grateful that Zack will only be gone for 2 months and will have the ability to communicate sporadically throughout the patrol. I can't imagine how it must be to say goodbye to a spouse who is being deployed to Afghanistan.

here are a few pics of Zack on the Diligence. if i may say so myself, he looks good on the ship :) can't wait to take pictures of them pulling back in port!

uncharted waters

adriana and I will soon undergo yet another s-turn in our lives and relationship. tomorrow, 08OCT10, marks one day til my disembarking of Wilmington and casting out upon the expansive waters of the Atlantic and the Caribbean. although my mind is ready, my heart is not, and could never become, prepared for another zero two month tour away from my baby(ies). I have to constantly remind (persuade) myself that time will fly as it normally does and that I will be back on land in no time at all. the fact is that there will be time and it will be difficult, but it's nothing we can't endure. I am thankful for the family and friends that she will have to spend her time with. I know that she would make it without such avenues but I know I surely couldn't do the same. looking out over the murky and trying sixty days, the comforting thoughts of home and my baby make these uncharted waters seem a little more navigable.